Brewery Home: New York

Serving Style: Bomber into pint glasses

Beer Style: American Barleywine

Appearance: Copper/amber with ‘rustic’ white small head.

Aroma: Rich malty sweetness with alcohol hotness. Some fruity/apple/citrus highlights. Well balanced and hoppy in the backend.

Taste: Malty and sweet with the alcohol bite bleeding through. The malty-ness is nicely complex and the hops give a clean ending. For me (Andy), almost too ‘drinkable’ for a barleywine – more like barelywine!

ABV: 10%

Drink one or all?: One.

Cost: $8?

Overall: 15/20 Good.

Brewery Home: Colorado

Serving Style: Bomber into pint glasses

Beer Style: American Imperial Stout

Appearance: DARK brown creamy head. A ‘black blackness’ body. Jim thinks the head reminds him of Nestle chocolate powder getting mixed into milk.

Aroma: This shit gets you pumped if you’re an American hoppy beer nerd. Silky chocolate that ends dark and bold, reminds both of us of premium hot chocolate. In the back sit big, bad ass American hops. Yes.

Taste: Roasted barley and chocolate that becomes lightly sweet in the middle. The end is bitter, sharp and wonderfully American hopped. At times the chocolate/roast notes can come across as chalky but the overall character is smooth and wonderful. Love these hops.

ABV: 9.5%

Drink one or all?: One. Then go buy another for tomorrow.

Cost: $8?

Overall: 19/20 The best of the night. A favorite for Andy.

Brewery Home: New York

Serving Style: Bomber into pint glasses

Beer Style: American (Milk) Stout

Appearance: Opaque blackness (again) with an offwhite head (lighter than I expected). The bottle has really really awesome beer stats on the bottle. Cool!

Aroma: Wow! Huge caramel/butterscotch…maybe like burnt cream :D The ‘roast’ sits comfortably in the background. Jim: “smells exactly like a Werthers original candy!” It’s like ice cream with awesome toppings.

Taste: Starts a little harsh (this smoothed a bit when it warmed) but then the vanilla and roast balance out and end nicely. A good dessert beer, definitely unique.

ABV: 10%

Drink one or all?: One. It’s unique.

Cost: $8?

Overall: 18/20 Good! Interesting!

Brewery Home: Boston, MA

Serving Style: 12 oz bottle into pint glasses

Beer Style: Imperial Stout

Appearance: Dark, opaque blackness. Tan head that doesn’t last.

Aroma: Crazy good aroma. RICH chocolate and vanilla that is milky and smooth. We were sniffing our glasses like crazy.

Taste: Smokey-roast notes with light dry chocolate. Good stout punch but it doesn’t last. Crisp mouthfeel.

ABV: 9%

Drink one or all?: One, enjoy slowly.

Cost: ???

Overall: 16/20

Brewery Home: Milwaukee, WI

Serving Style: 1 liter swing top bottle

Beer Style: Russian Imperial Stout

Appearance: Opaque black body. Decently think, tan head that falls from a pillowy blossom back into the glass – Jim notes it looks strikingly like a Coke. Looks like a ‘legit’ imperial russian.

Aroma: Strong roasted malts with a 2 x 4 of oak. Light vanilla around the edges that blends into a light floral hop background. Most of the time the roast tells the hops to sit down and shut the #$%* up.

Taste: Velvety smooth mouthfeel and surprisingly sweet. Wow, very sweet and…thin!? Decent bittersweet chocolates, roasts finishing with a faint bourbon pucker and hop bitter. Disappointingly lean body. This is 11% ABV?! WOAH. The overall flavor has not packed the punch we were craving but we are amazed at the smoothness…too easy to gulp down. Alcohol is buried under cuddly roasts and mellow hops. Well rounded, but lacking that stout wallop we crave; Jim thinks it’s almost ‘wine-like’ in its thinness.

ABV: 11%!

Drink one or all?: 1 bottle will be plenty.

Cost: $13/bottle (can’t remember?)

Overall: Jim/Andy: 15/20

Brewery Home: Munster, Indiana

Serving Style: 2 glorious, wax-dipped 650ML bottles, 2009 vintage.

Beer Style: Russian Imperial Stout

Appearance: Blackness. Definitely two cups of rice (Metalocalypse reference, get with it). Viscous and truly ‘like motor oil’. Swirling it around in the glass leaves a brown layer clinging to the sides. Small, dark tan head; bubbles struggle to get to the surface, many get crushed mercilessly on the way. No lacing from the head, the blackness of the brew destroys all. Tom: “it’s blacker than the blackest black times infinity” (another Metalocalypse quote, and quite fitting really). This beer (and bottle, woah…) is incredibly metal. We are all geeking out while we thrash to Hot Cross on the stereo.

Aroma: Hold on tight, a hop hurricane is coming through. Very strong hoppy front that melts into an awesomely weird soy-sauce-milkshake-godly-vanilla tidal wave. Cannon gets sweet fruit (raisin) and brandy kicks too. Think dark fruits and dark roasts. On fire. In a deep dungeon. With Slayer turned up to 11.

Taste: Wow, that’s easily the greatest beer we’ve all suckled on so far. The collective room just had their minds blown. Many people are screaming with excitement and Hot Cross is blasting so here is a group stream of consciousness description of the dark flavor: “DELIVERS. warm wood…starts salty and ends sweet…excellent mouthfeel, smooth and almost creamy, coats the throat…it’s warming me from the inside…beer milkshake…aggressive hop front that morphs into warm (bourbon-y alcohol) roasts and finishes dark and wonderfully evil. Brian: “I wonder what tree this was fermented in.” Scott lays down the understatement of the night: “Wow. Now that’s a fucking beer.” Andy/Jim: “when you get this you get this incredibly euphoric feeling as it goes down your throat.” Some may say that this beer overly sweet, but regardless I think this is right up our collective alley.

ABV: 11.0%

Drink one or all?: One. Enjoy slowly.

Cost: $15/bottle + Golden Ticket + 36 hours of consciousness – some self-respect

Overall: 21/20.
There is a TON of hype around this one (ourselves included). We think this beer can deliver on most of it.

Brewery Hometown: Russia

Appearance: Yellow. Foamy. *everybody does a collar pull*

Aroma: Oh no…the first whiff brings back NIGHTMARES…nightmares…of Grade 9. Oh my it burns like an old war wound. What were we thinking!?!

Taste: The first trickle into your mouth deceives you with a semi-sweet pang…until (we all agree it is very a DRAMATIC CHIPMUNK transition) a sour/dry spike brutally assaults your tongue. Jim: “its like putting a dry/wet vac into your mouth and letting it suck the life out of you. I need a glass of water after every sip.” Ok ok. In reality its MUCH easier to take down than pure-grain alcohol infused Grade 9. Andy: “Regardless it’s really not good when one of the best adjectives I can think of is…plastic.” Everyone is still in disbelief just how big these fucking bottles are. You have to use two hands, the bottle isn’t strong enough to support the weight of the beer alone. To clarify further: it is bigger than a 2-liter and at 5.1% (3 bottles for $10) you are cruising for some serious body abuse. Jim: “you could probably load this into a tank and shoot it as a missile”. Andy: “I’m pretty sure that would be against the Geneva Conventions.” Jim: “I feel like I am holding a watermelon” Consensus: this is Grade 9 light. Adam: “oh god its 104 oz…its going to get warm.” This could get ugly.

Alcohol: 5.1%

Drink one or all?: Can you even finish one?!

Cost: 3/$10. Economic.

Overall: Baltika: we love you for hating us.

Brewery Hometown: St. Lake City

Appearance: Adam: “it looks like a fucking beer…from a commercial.” Thanks Adam. Clear dark yellow. Crispy. Semi-clear foaming white head.

Aroma: Chris: “a light bag of skittles sweetness…maybe blue moon (coriander)” Strong orange rind tones – go figure, its an orange infused beer.

Taste: The orange rind is the standout player with faint hints of coriander (Joe: “it is rrrrrrripe”) The orange is thankfully not a fake-syrup, but the overall character is slightly too sweet. Chris: “they aren’t kidding when they say rype.” (Clever). Jim: “tastes like a beer with orange in it…what more can I say…its a heavily fruited beer” (Even more clever). Fruity, but perhaps little boring. Andy: “very one note” Chris: “not as exciting as I was hoping to be…not as citrus-y as I was hoping for a bottle with an orange on it and an orange cap…if you’re going to do an ORANGE beer, youve got to go for it, they didn’t” Well put.

Alcohol: 4.0%

Drink one or all?: One

Cost: We guess $8/sixer

Overall: Andy: 12/20, clean but boring, Jim: 12/20 gets old fast, Adam: 13/20 doesn’t excite me, Chris: 14/20 good but not what I wanted, Joey: 13/20 ok, now I’m sick of it, Dan: 12/20 (…)

Appearance: Pours like a dirty motor oil change; another oil reference for the books! Adam is saying it’s probably as dark as tar, liquid tar. I feel like it should go hand in hand with a pack of cigarettes and a tar injection for your veins. I was unaware it was an oatmeal stout until my first smell. Not terrible but hopefully it’ll blend well.

Aroma: “Smells delicious” Sir Beardsalot.  Very malty and dark. Adam: “You can smell the DARKNESS.”  As stated before it’s clearly an oatmeal stout. It smells like its going to fuck you up! But not really… I’m thinking I could get lost and fall asleep in your eyes (if you had eyes). But then I would drown… bad idea. Adam also made the point that I wouldn’t be able to see very well in the darkness. [Ed: WHAT THE FUCK DOES THIS MEAN?]

Taste: Oatmeal. Hops are apparent in the aftertaste. Adam’s finding it very delicious. The oatmeal taste develops into almost a pale ale bitterness but stops just shy of it. Really very smooth for a oatmeal stout. Jason’s finding the alcohol to really stand out.

Alcohol %:9

Drink One or All four?: Drink what you can handle… its smooth but intense

Cost: $12 for 4pack

Overall:

James: 18/20 I LIKE+

Adam: 17/20 Not extremely bitter  but still dark and delicious.

Jason: 16/20 i’m not much of a dark guy but its good enough that i’m appreciating the flavor

Brian: I typically do NOT  like oatmeal stouts… but this brew is gaining a 15.5/20 (apparently the decimal in a fraction is irregular… fuck that.)

Appearance: It’s agreed by all of us that it looks like a root beer. We poured them about 8 minutes ago and it has very successful bubbles all the time with a nice head. I think it has a little more of a caramel color with more transparency (much like a thinned out coke) but I have a pillager (I know its pilsner but the auto spell corrected me to that…I didn’t disagree…) glass so the color is stretched out.

Aroma: Sweet and I’m pretty sure that’s coming from the raisins. For the amount of alcohol its masked very well, so were not getting tipsy off the deep deep fumes. Jim’s keepin’ it short and keepin’ it real “Smells good.”

Taste: “Tastes good.”… Jim. the alcohol level is present but not over powering at all. Really smooth but a very hard to describe beer. I don’t think anything is distinguishable between the mahogany and the raisin. Apparently it just tastes like mahogany with out the wood taste, but no one knows what mahogany tastes like so its perfect! I think we should splash this all over our leather bound books for the ultimate classy smell. Honestly between the four of us, the best that we have is “Tastes good.”

Alcohol %:8

Drink One or All Six?: Drink all 6. Its so F-ing smooth and for the ABV its worth it.

Cost: $11 for 6pack

Overall:

Brian: 14/20 Solid brew but the flavor wasn’t much more than the 14 for me.

Jimbo: 16/20 GOOD

Jason: 18/20 he likes the texture of Killians and apparently its just about the same!

Adam: 16/20 over all good beer, good for sipping or pounding. could easily pour and with the 8% its gonna fuck you up.