Oh wow, oh wow. For Kyle’s 21st Birthday Brian came up with this brilliant idea of heading to Milwaukee, Wisconsin for as many brewery tours as possible. Oh wow…did I say that already?! So good! In the span of 5 hours we hit up three big/great/interesting breweries in the ***cute Milwaukee nickname here*** It really was an incredible day full of good burrrr, lots of opinions/stories, biker dudes and general insanity. Oh wow.

Above: Our fearless leader/DD. What a pro.

Miller Brewery [Free]

We started the day at the massive Miller Brewery for a *free* tour of their pasturized, high-throughput facility. Started in 1855 by Fredrick Miller, the worldwide distributer now pumps out 90,000 cans an hour…AN HOUR. Woah. We arrived at their tour just in time to sneak in the back of their initial video presentation an increeeeeeeeeeeedibly over-the-top cheesy affair with horribly awkward techno-rock, fist-pumping the glory of ‘Miller Time’. Speakers were definitely blown. To much hardcore Miller Time. We all had a hardy, hardy laugh. Regardless, we we’re in ‘Milwaukee – Beer Country.’ The champagne of beers. In all honesty, their efficiency and throughput was sickeningly mechanical and similar to how I consume their beers; rapid and without feeling. Oh and apparently Chicago consumes 40% of their total output, our bad. Despite my cynicism, the brewery did provide three free samples (Dan managed to gank one glass, what a pro) at the conclusion of the tour; Miller Lite, MGD and Leinenkugel Sunset Wheat. The first two were better than expected but the last was offensively sweet, like a Fruity Pebbles beer. We ended our tour by sending several…perhaps several several…inappropriate post cards to Cannons GF before dashing off to our next adventure.

Lakefront Brewery [$6]

Following that mess, we scurried over to Lakefront Brewery only a stonesthrow away from Miller. This brewery was started in 1987 by two brothers who attempted to out brew the each other until finally opening up this fine establishment. We showed up early and managed to score some extra drink chips, ensuring that this would be as infamous as their tour allegedly was (FYI $6 a head). Dan scored even more by becoming a local plumber (don’t ask).
The setup at Lakefront allowed us a chance to gulp down their beers well before and during their tour; we tried their Evolution (skunky? Dan liked it), IPA (DRYYYYY), and Eastside Dark (best that we found). Unlike Miller, the Lakefront tour was much more rowdy, drunken, informative and generally awesome. Our tour guide was a sassy asshole – fitting well with our group – who kept the larger tour group in line, and drinking with repeated ‘cheers’. The facility itself was (obviously) significantly smaller, leading to a much more informal, intimate tour of the operations – Kevin and I were wet at the lips looking at all the standard Chemical Engineering unit ops. We were also lucky enough to try their Bridge Burner, an exclusive 9.5% ale that is pure beast. Overall, at $6 a pop you got plenty off beer and a solid pint glass to take home. Good times. (Follow up note, go early! This place was SUPER packed when we left).

Sprecher Brewery [$4]

Pro tip: go here first. Although more subdued, the locals/fellow tourists were excessively generous with their drink tickets. Definitely a sloppy ending. At one point we had 20+ drink tickets spread out on our table (following our second round of beers there) with less than 30min to drink. Intense. For a little backstory, Sprecher was started in 1985 by a former brewering supervisior from Pabst, so you know its quality baby. Its been in its current location since 1994. This tour was much much more subdued (even more so than the Miller one), skewing to a significantly older and younger crowd. I can’t explain the senior citizens (one dude recognised us from the Miller tour, left his wife behind to hang out with us and give us her tickets), but the younger crowd was clearly excited to taste their sodas, one of the best surprises of the day. Their root beer was unbelievable and their orange cream was even better (Kyle keeps on ranting about it, what a nerd). Simply incredible. It makes senses that they make most of their profit off of it; they manufacture significantly more soda than beer. Oh ok now back to the sloppy end. 20+ drink tickets. We really enjoyed their Abbey Triple (a Belgian) and the Russian Imperial. The remainder were decent but not notable. Second pro tip; when they say to not EAT the hops, dont EAT the hops…KFAZ did because he was on another plane of existence (’I love hops! I love hops! ackkkkkk *spits out hops paste*), and paid for it.
Above: Apparently all the beer made us lurk around strangers.

Overall

Miller: Free…can’t really complain. Really cheesy.
Lakefront: Decent beer…fucking fun tour. Really fun.
Sprecher: Best beer…too much beer? Really to much.

Follow Up

So Lakefront gave us coupons to get a free beer at a local bar, and after Sprecher we were still, somehow, alive and up for it. The closest one was this delightful sounding stop called Dino’s Lounge. Turns out its in the middle of ghetto-bufu, and 100% dive baby. So good. Oh and it was closed when we pulled up. Luckily, the pothead looking dude waiting on the steps was the cook waiting to be let in to open the place…at 4:45pm just to clarify. We get some beers (cool bartender), order some food and all started laughing our ass off at Adam trying to remain upright. Then two straight up biker dudes in full leather gettups walk in. Sweet. Kevin starts nerding (do you nerdout over bikes? or like…greaseout?) with them. Several minutes later, Adam is passed out in blissful dreamland…ask us in person for the rest. Protastic. Just an incredible day.